Hello sweet girl:
I am so sorry you’re hurting! I’ve been in your place hundreds of times in my own battle with chronic illness. Even last night, I was there again.
The physical, mental, and emotional burdens that come with the territory of chronic illnesses can be paralyzing, leaving us uncertain of how to function “normally.” There’s grief that’s hard to explain to those who haven’t been in your shoes.
In all of the pain and hardship, it might seem like giving up is the answer.
The idea of letting go of your life, or of moving away and starting over, may sound appealing.
If you’re anything like me, you wish you could just run away from your problems instead of facing them head-on.
My natural tendency as a “go-getter” is to strive – to see a problem and tackle it. But, I’m to the point where I’ve grown weary. Following a treatment protocol and not seeing results can be discouraging. Living in a state of continual ups and downs is draining.
In your own battle, you may be tired of having to “miss out” on life. It can be hard to see life pass you by as the healthy people around you continue on in their lives while you’re still searching for glimmers of hope that you’ll one day feel better.
I understand that life is really hard right now. It isn’t what you ever imagined, and coping with the pain, stress, and uncertainty of your health situation is enough to drive you into despair.
But, I want to tell you, as someone who has been there and regularly battles the desire to give up, that giving up is not the answer – at least not in the sense that you may be thinking.
Yesterday was my birthday. Instead of spending the day at work and then with my family and friends in the evening, I spent most of the day in bed. Pain was intense, brain fog was heavy, and deep feelings of depression would not relent.
Even though I know that there are people who care and want to see me happy and healthy, I sometimes find myself in a pit, feeling like I’m drowning.
Can you relate? Have you ever felt that way?
Remember, you are not alone.
I shared earlier that giving up is not the answer. But there are things we can give up that will grow us closer to finding real life.
Giving up fear, giving up the need to be in control, giving up the desire to please others, giving up pride, giving up anger, and overall giving up our lives to Christ, who is the only one who can meet all of our needs. When we choose to not give up on our lives, but to give our lives over to God and His will, we find freedom.
I’m convinced that we’re all searching for freedom in our battles with chronic illnesses. We may feel trapped in our own bodies that don’t seem to work properly. We want to escape.
When we hand the reins over to God, knowing that He’s always working for our good when we have our hope in Him (Romans 8:28), we can rest.
“Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest. Take my yoke upon you and learn from me, for I am gentle and humble in heart, and you will find rest for your souls. For my yoke is easy and my burden is light.” (Matthew 11:28-30)
Here, Jesus is promising to provide rest. He will be gentle with us and will teach us. As we rely on Him, we will be released from the world’s burdens.
This might not all make sense when you’re in the heat of despair.
Honestly, when things are the worst for me, even though I know the truth I sometimes put a wall up to keep me from thinking about it and believing it. Times like that are when it’s important to pray that God will work and the Holy Spirit will show us the truth.
Instead of giving up on the things in your life, I encourage you to give up control of your life. Open your clenched hands and release your burdens to Jesus. He truly knows what you’re going through.
You, sweet girl, are so loved! You are chosen, adored, and beautiful.
Life might not look all that sweet right now. I understand.
But, you don’t have to do this alone.
Because I understand brokenness and feelings of grief while battling chronic illness, I wrote a short eBook guide that can walk you through how to find hope during life’s darkest moments. I’d love to give you a free copy of Finding Hope Through the Fog.
Please know that I would also be grateful to join you in prayer for whatever you’re experiencing. You can email me at firstname.lastname@example.org.
Again, I’m sorry for the pain you’re experiencing. I’m praying that you will find hope.
Lots of love,
Emily Lofgren is a not a doctor and is not able to diagnose, prescribe a treatment plan, or give medical advice. The intent of this website is to share personal experiences and no information here is to be used as medical advice. Please seek appropriate medical care.
If you are struggling and are in need of immediate help, please contact the Suicide Prevention Lifeline. 1-800-273-8255.