To the Girl Who Feels Like Giving Up

Hello sweet girl:

I am so sorry you’re hurting! I’ve been in your place hundreds of times in my own battle with chronic illness. Even last night, I was there again.

Chronic Illness - Giving Up

The physical, mental, and emotional burdens that come with the territory of chronic illnesses can be paralyzing, leaving us uncertain of how to function “normally.” There’s grief that’s hard to explain to those who haven’t been in your shoes.

In all of the pain and hardship, it might seem like giving up is the answer.

The idea of letting go of your life, or of moving away and starting over, may sound appealing.

If you’re anything like me, you wish you could just run away from your problems instead of facing them head-on.

My natural tendency as a “go-getter” is to strive – to see a problem and tackle it. But, I’m to the point where I’ve grown weary. Following a treatment protocol and not seeing results can be discouraging. Living in a state of continual ups and downs is draining.

In your own battle, you may be tired of having to “miss out” on life. It can be hard to see life pass you by as the healthy people around you continue on in their lives while you’re still searching for glimmers of hope that you’ll one day feel better.

I understand that life is really hard right now. It isn’t what you ever imagined, and coping with the pain, stress, and uncertainty of your health situation is enough to drive you into despair.

But, I want to tell you, as someone who has been there and regularly battles the desire to give up, that giving up is not the answer – at least not in the sense that you may be thinking.

Lyme Disease - Chronic Illness

Yesterday was my birthday. Instead of spending the day at work and then with my family and friends in the evening, I spent most of the day in bed. Pain was intense, brain fog was heavy, and deep feelings of depression would not relent.

Even though I know that there are people who care and want to see me happy and healthy, I sometimes find myself in a pit, feeling like I’m drowning.

Can you relate? Have you ever felt that way? 

Remember, you are not alone.

I shared earlier that giving up is not the answer. But there are things we can give up that will grow us closer to finding real life.

Giving up fear, giving up the need to be in control, giving up the desire to please others, giving up pride, giving up anger, and overall giving up our lives to Christ, who is the only one who can meet all of our needs. When we choose to not give up on our lives, but to give our lives over to God and His will, we find freedom.

I’m convinced that we’re all searching for freedom in our battles with chronic illnesses. We may feel trapped in our own bodies that don’t seem to work properly. We want to escape.

When we hand the reins over to God, knowing that He’s always working for our good when we have our hope in Him (Romans 8:28), we can rest.

Jesus said,

“Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest. Take my yoke upon you and learn from me, for I am gentle and humble in heart, and you will find rest for your souls. For my yoke is easy and my burden is light.” (Matthew 11:28-30)

Here, Jesus is promising to provide rest. He will be gentle with us and will teach us. As we rely on Him, we will be released from the world’s burdens.

This might not all make sense when you’re in the heat of despair.

Honestly, when things are the worst for me, even though I know the truth I sometimes put a wall up to keep me from thinking about it and believing it. Times like that are when it’s important to pray that God will work and the Holy Spirit will show us the truth.

Instead of giving up on the things in your life, I encourage you to give up control of your life. Open your clenched hands and release your burdens to Jesus. He truly knows what you’re going through.

You, sweet girl, are so loved! You are chosen, adored, and beautiful.

Life might not look all that sweet right now. I understand.

But, you don’t have to do this alone.

Because I understand brokenness and feelings of grief while battling chronic illness, I wrote a short eBook guide that can walk you through how to find hope during life’s darkest moments. I’d love to give you a free copy of Finding Hope Through the Fog.

Please know that I would also be grateful to join you in prayer for whatever you’re experiencing. You can email me at

Again, I’m sorry for the pain you’re experiencing. I’m praying that you will find hope.

Lots of love,



Emily Lofgren is a not a doctor and is not able to diagnose, prescribe a treatment plan, or give medical advice. The intent of this website is to share personal experiences and no information here is to be used as medical advice. Please seek appropriate medical care.

If you are struggling and are in need of immediate help, please contact the Suicide Prevention Lifeline. 1-800-273-8255.


When You Want to Give Up Your Chronic Illness Fight

21 thoughts on “To the Girl Who Feels Like Giving Up

  1. Thank you, Emily. This was so what I needed right now. I am really struggling, and feel so dark, and it is really good to be reminded I’m not alone. Thank you, and God bless you. <3

  2. This is like someone speaking the feelings I have locked in my head . This year , on my 17th birthday , I didn’t even leave my room . I spent the whole day in my PJs . I knew my parents wanted to see me cheerful especially on that day , but I just couldn’t help it .

  3. You have given me a sense of understanding that I don’t often receive, so thank you so much. I’ve intense CFS and a constant headache since I was 13, and it’s nice to hear from someone my own age, not someone who got to have a life before they became sick. Thank you

  4. Aiden Lucas
    I was diagnosed with fibromyalgia for 3 years, and it was very painful some days. I was taken methocarbamol to relieve the pain. Sometimes it helps and other days it doesn’t. it was killing me for 3 years, doctor said there was no cure. So I tried to live with it and it wasn’t easy.My childhood friend introduced me to Dr George (Good health herbs home),Dr George fibromyalgia herbal remedy cured me within 6 weeks of usage ,am fibromyalgia free now 100%.

  5. Emily, Thank you so much for this blog and your free book. I have been thinking about writing a blog to encourage others, but I am not sure I could do it. Your post is so uplifting and breathes HOPE in Christ. May the Lord bless all of us who struggle with Chronic Lyme or any chronic illness. Abundant JOY!

    1. Dawn, I am so glad that we have connected! Thank you for reading and for your kind words!! If you have been thinking about writing, the best advice I have is to just try (even if you’re not sure you could do it). God will show you if that’s the way you should be going. :) Amen, sweet sister!

  6. Admittedly, this is also one of the hardest things to achieve. Finding rest through Christ, and letting him have full control can feel so overwhelming, because you don’t know what’s going to happen.

    But, then again, trust is always hard to do. And we must keep trying until we achieve total submission to Christ.

    Thank you for this article!

    1. Thanks so much for reading, Crys! I completely agree. Letting go of control is incredibly difficult because of the unknown. We want to hold onto whatever we can control. But when we learn God’s promises and know that He is trustworthy, surrender becomes more natural because we know Him and trust Him! <3 Love that about how God works in our lives. :)

  7. Emily,
    I found your blog on Pintrest. I am really excited to read your book “Finding Hope Through the Fog”. I have fibromyalgia and the ongoing nerve pain, headaches, depression, anxiety, brain fog, and suffering can be overwhelming. As I write this I am home, in bed, under an electric blanket praying constantly for it to all just go away.
    Thank you so much for the free book. Sometimes I do lose sight of the joy in knowing that Jesus does love me and wants me to come to Him. He wants me no matter if I am having a good day but especially on these hard days.
    My prayers are with you, dear lady. Thank you again for your inspiring words of encouragement and offering us a place where we can be understood and not judged.
    Love and Prayers,
    Your Sister in Christ

    1. Hi Shelia! I’m glad you found the blog. :) I’m so sorry you’re dealing with such pain and suffering. Interestingly, as I write this reply, I’m in bed with my heating pad on my back. Can definitely relate to your experiences.

      I know what you mean about sometimes losing sight of the joy in Christ during hard times. Love what you said: “He wants me no matter if I am having a good day but especially on these hard days.” Amen! Praying for you right now. Lots of love!

  8. You moved me to tears. Thank you so much for your writing. You’ve helped motivate me to fight. More importantly, you’ve helped me give my fight to Christ.

  9. Emily, this post really spoke to me. I don’t technically have a chronic illness, but my disorder is an ongoing battle without any cure. I can so relate to feeling discouraged by the pain and flare ups. I’m thankful to have things in control enough to no longer live under a heating pad. But it’s still so frustrating after working hard to manage my condition when it decides to dig into my life. I don’t always know what caused the flare or how to calm it. At least I have a name of what I’m fighting now – that makes it a little easier to stomach.

    I’ve struggled with feeling as though this disorder defines me. For a long time, it was so hard to believe that this wasn’t my identity and to remember that God has a plan for his glorification within this. In fact, I struggled to believe that there was life outside of continual pain and unanswered questions. But over and over again God has reminded me that he is faithful and he knows what he is doing. It’s hard to accept that pain is part of the plan, but I’m learning to trust him every day with my health journey. <3

    1. Hi Hannah! Thank you for sharing some of your story with me. I’m sorry you’re dealing with a disorder that has no cure. It would be discouraging to have flare ups. I am SO glad that God has reminded you that He is faithful! You’re so right in that He knows what He’s doing. I’m thankful that you’re walking with Him through this pain. Xoxo

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