In Part 1 of What To Do When You’re Having an Identity Crisis, I described being at my breaking point and feeling insecure as I struggled to figure out who I was.
God worked in my heart to show me that I didn’t need to have all the answers. As a child of God, my identity is rooted in who He is, not in what I do or what I like. Because I follow Christ, the insecurity knocking at my door can be defeated. Even when I’m struggling, God promises that I can cast all my anxiety on Him because he cares for me (1 Peter 5:7).
I talk about following Christ, but what does this actually mean?
I am convinced that we as a society put too much pressure on ourselves and each other. There are unspoken rules surrounding expectations, with hidden pressures waiting to pounce as soon as your guard is lowered. Sometimes those expectations come from others, but more often I have found that the expectations I place on myself are the ones leaving me discouraged.
I want to have it all together. I want to do well at work and have meaningful relationships with friends and family. Being active in church, exercising, eating well and sleeping enough are also high on my priority list. I want to have a daily quiet time with God, where I get to meet Him and pour out my heart, while listening for His voice. Sometime, I want to get better at this writing thing and actually blog regularly. There’s also a book I’ve been writing, but haven’t made progress in weeks, maybe months.
Striving is where you often find me. Pushing. Tackling. Aiming. Working. Wanting. and. Struggling. With the strive is the struggle. And, honestly, I hate it.
I can’t stand the way I constantly try to fix things – to fix myself. To fix the people I love because I think I’ll be happier that way. It’s pretty selfish, I know.
I know God is good. I really do. But, sometimes I think I forget, maybe even for just a moment. Then something happens and I’m brought back to this place of awe. I am so in awe of God’s goodness. Wow!
A few minutes ago it hit me. Even though I believe God is always working in people’s lives, I’m blown away when I hear that someone I never expected to follow Him opens the Bible and puts their trust in His hands. As my fingers hit the keys of my laptop, my eyes are beginning to water. I can’t even coherently put into words the way I’m feeling. It’s as if I didn’t realize the eternal significance of each individual life, but now I understand. God’s given me a little piece of wisdom to see how he feels every time one more of his lost sheep comes to Him.
I am thankful.