Some Advice for the Dating Girl: Just Enjoy Him!

Advice for the Dating Girl

To the Dating Girl:

I know you quite well.

You’re me.

Well, kind of.

I know we aren’t all exactly the same, but we probably have a lot of the same hangups when it comes to relationships. It’s how girls are wired. We crave connection and desire to be loved. We each want the man we love to pursue us well and show us that he cares.

There’s nothing wrong with that. It’s good to desire true connection. It’s how God made us.

But what happens in a dating relationship when things don’t go exactly as we hope, dream, and plan? Some of us girls tend to get discouraged. That discouragement can then bring out the worst qualities in us. The awful qualities that show how much we want to control.

Ehh… Just thinking about what happens when I don’t get my way makes me feel icky inside because, honestly, I don’t want to be someone who insists on everything going my way. I want to be easy-going and fun. I want to be faithful and patient as I trust God’s timing for things in my life.

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Emily Lofgren’s heart beats for authenticity. She craves true connection where we can be real about our struggles and find hope together. Emily became a Christian in college and since then has had a passion for writing in a way that helps others encounter life. Grab your free copy of her eBook Finding Hope Through the Fog.

Why Hasn’t He Proposed Yet?

{Full Disclosure: Jonathan gave me permission to share this with you}

I went into my relationship with Jonathan believing that he was the one – the one I was going to marry. Our story is quite different than the average dating story.

We didn’t just meet each other, exchange numbers, text a lot, hang out, and then decide we should probably make it official. He didn’t go the more traditional route of asking me on a date to see how we interacted, either. In fact, Jonathan didn’t tell me that he liked me until I had moved back to China – halfway around the world. Not exactly an easy distance to travel to see one another…

Why hasn't he proposed yet?

We began to fall for each other while attending a Bible study at his church, which has now also become my church. Jonathan and I knew of each other back in high school but we weren’t friends. In fact, at one point I even had a friend who crushed on him and I remember saying something like, “He’s fine, I guess…” in response to her telling me about the crush. I never imagined that just a few short years later I’d find myself with feelings I couldn’t shake.

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Emily Lofgren’s heart beats for authenticity. She craves true connection where we can be real about our struggles and find hope together. Emily became a Christian in college and since then has had a passion for writing in a way that helps others encounter life. Grab your free copy of her eBook Finding Hope Through the Fog.

Why I Won’t Claim That My Boyfriend is the “Best Boyfriend in the World”

This piece of writing started out as a Facebook post that I began to create in my mind earlier this week. However, as my thoughts deepened on the subject, I realized that I needed to write a blog post to share more than I had originally intended.

What initially was going to be a few sentences about how much I appreciate my boyfriend turned into something else. And, no, it’s not because we got into another fight and I no longer wanted to tell the world how great he is.;)

My boyfriend is not the best boyfriend in the world

I have been thinking a lot about the gift I have in my boyfriend Jonathan. I can’t even begin to express my appreciation for this man.

When he comes to mind, I smile.

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Emily Lofgren’s heart beats for authenticity. She craves true connection where we can be real about our struggles and find hope together. Emily became a Christian in college and since then has had a passion for writing in a way that helps others encounter life. Grab your free copy of her eBook Finding Hope Through the Fog.

7 Mistakes I Made in Dating

7 Mistakes I Made in Dating

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Jonathan and I haven’t had the easiest relationship.

…and that would also be a bit of an understatement.

Those who know my heart know how much I adore him and am proud to call Jonathan my boyfriend. I love him more than I ever imagined I could love. Yet, throughout our relationship I have had a roller coaster of emotions, making me question again and again whether it was all worth it. The answer to that question has relentlessly been “YES,” even amidst the trials we have endured as a couple.

When you bring two people from two different backgrounds with two very different schedules together, conflict will arise. It’s bound to happen, but how you deal with that conflict will either make or break the relationship.

These two years of dating have taught me more than I ever could have imagined. Without ever having a real long term relationship, I thought I knew what it took to make it work. I had watched many of my friends date and I figured that if I found a good Christian guy it would go smoothly. After all, he should know how to lead and would be intentional with everything.  That’s the way he should be if he wants to glorify God, right?

I didn’t stop to think that maybe the way he saw life was just different than the way I saw it, even if we followed the same God and both wanted nothing more than to make Christ known.  I never realized how much personality differences would either help or hinder our connection depending on how we responded to one another. A few thoughtless words here or a lack of communication there could turn our seemingly smooth sailing relationship on a downward spiral out of control.

Over and over, we didn’t know why we kept getting into the same arguments. We had the same goal, but different ways of going about it. This caused us to keep turning against instead of toward each other.

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Emily Lofgren’s heart beats for authenticity. She craves true connection where we can be real about our struggles and find hope together. Emily became a Christian in college and since then has had a passion for writing in a way that helps others encounter life. Grab your free copy of her eBook Finding Hope Through the Fog.

The Real Value of Roses

Birthday Roses

Prior to dating Jonathan, I was on the fence about whether flowers (especially roses) were worth the expense. The gesture is nice, I thought, but I wouldn’t want my boyfriend to spend that kind of money on something that will just die. I thought I would rather create experiences together or buy something that would serve as a relationship keepsake.

However, I have since changed my tune. I never vocally expressed my feelings about flowers to Jonathan; and, now I’m glad I didn’t! I really really REALLY appreciate flowers. They do something lovely to boost my mood!

Isn’t it amazing how God created things like flowers specifically for beauty? He created them for us to enjoy and I want to appreciate them.

Jonathan brought me these beautiful red roses yesterday before our birthday date. You see, my birthday is January 27 and his is January 30. Our birthdays lie right in heat of show choir season (he is the director of the high school varsity group), so having the opportunity to get away just the two of us for a date during this time of year is pretty special.

Today, while Jonathan is off judging a show choir competition, I had a work meeting before I came home to rest. I have been fighting off a cold that seems to be winning, so it left me feeling awful today. While spending the afternoon and evening resting, I got to enjoy the roses that now grace my dining room table. I can see them from where I am currently sitting as I lounge on the couch writing this blog post.

The roses don’t just make me happy because they are pretty, which they sure are! They serve as a reminder of Jonathan’s love for me. I can’t help but grin as I glance at the roses because I know that Jonathan gave them to me because he loves me.

I have to admit that I have a hard time with the schedules we keep. Our relationship has not been easy. Finding time to grow together so that we have a foundation for the future has been complicated. When Jonathan isn’t around, I miss him.

Having the roses here today to remind me just how much he loves me made all the difference. The value of roses is much greater than the sticker price. They serve as a crucial reminder that I am loved.

Emily Lofgren’s heart beats for authenticity. She craves true connection where we can be real about our struggles and find hope together. Emily became a Christian in college and since then has had a passion for writing in a way that helps others encounter life. Grab your free copy of her eBook Finding Hope Through the Fog.