Tears fall down my cheeks nearly every day. From the pain, to the intensified symptoms during die-off reactions, to the emotional overload of it all, I am left feeling broken and alone.
I want to hide. I want to run. But, I don’t even know where to go.
Plus, my legs won’t carry me very far.
Each day I battle with physical, mental, and emotional wounds that come with fighting chronic Lyme Disease and co-infections.
I never know how I will feel from one minute to the next, so life is almost impossible to plan.
Constantly weighing the pros and cons of each daily task, I must determine what is necessary to complete and what I need to do for my mental health. There’s not enough energy to go around to function like a normal human being, so sacrifices are made for the sake of treatment.
When I have a good day, I can’t even fully embrace it because if I try to do everything I’d like, I know that the next two days will be spent in bed recovering.
To make matters worse, on the outside, to the world around me, I look like your average twenty-five year old. I don’t always look sick, but inside there’s a war being waged on all systems of my body.
One of the hardest parts of facing this disease is that others don’t understand. Often times, even those with the best intentions and godly motives underplay the significant nature of Lyme Disease.
And while I wish that everyone understood how difficult life is for those with Lyme and other chronic illnesses, I take comfort in knowing that there is someone who knows our pains and will love us through it all.
Even if I feel misunderstood, I can be comforted by the fact that Jesus knows.
Just think about the significance of that.
The author of Hebrews writes,
For we do not have a high priest who is unable to empathize with our weaknesses, but we have one who has been tempted in every way, just as we are—yet he did not sin.
-Hebrews 4:15 (NIV)
Jesus can understand our weaknesses and struggles. He came to this world in human form as fully God and fully man. Then, He died in our place, taking all the sins of the world on Him. Jesus can truly relate to our struggles because He experienced them.
Next we read,
Let us then approach God’s throne of grace with confidence, so that we may receive mercy and find grace to help us in our time of need.
-Hebrews 4:16 (NIV)
Because we know that Jesus is understanding of our pains, weaknesses, and struggles, we can turn to Him, confident of His provision in our time of need.
During my darkest days, when I feel like everything is going wrong and nobody understands, I must remember the precious gift I have in Jesus.
No matter the struggles or pains we experience in this world, we don’t have to endure them alone.
Jesus is there for us. And He empathizes, meeting us in the pain.
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- The story of my battle with chronic Lyme Disease
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